Week 6: Cherish Your Spouse
We love the extreme!
Look at the gospel for example: many of us struggle to read
the scriptures every day but are positive that if we were called on to cross
the planes we would rise to the call without question!
It seems to me that we handle marriage struggles in much the
same way. Gottman says that fondness and admiration are two of the most crucial
elements in a rewarding and long-lasting romance.[1]
But those answers seem so perfectly simple. It is possible
that in our efforts to understand how to make marriage an eternal journey, we
are over-complicating it. We want deep, big deal answers when really, the simple
answer is remembering to like each other.
Are we like the sister from President Uchtdorfs talk titled
It Works Wonderfully, who spent hours and hours working on a quilt to display during
her lesson titled, “Simplify”?[2]
Gottman tells us that the key to creating a fondness and
admiration for your spouse is to get in the habit of scanning for qualities and
actions that you can appreciate then letting your partner know you are
thankful.[3]
We want to search for the small things. I have noticed several simple, tiny,
everyday things over the last few days that my amazing husband has done for me.
They are simple, and easy, but with an “attitude of gratitude”, they become
powerful tools to shape a happy relationship. Some of things I have noticed
are:
· he made the bed
· he woke up early and got the kids up for me
· he brought me lunch at work
· he took the time to listen to my distraught daughter after I had a long day
· he got on the ground and played with our new granddaughter (7 months old!)
· he changed the front light on my car that was out
· he told me I was beautiful several times in one day
And the list goes on.
Building a loving
relationship has so much to do with our focus. Do we focus on the good or do we
look for the bad? Abraham Lincoln said, “If you look for the bad in all
mankind, expecting to find it, you surely will.”
Powerful words of truth!
So my challenge: Look for the good. It is there! The key is
to find it and keep it at the forefront of our thoughts, always letting them be
heard!
Those happy thoughts will become our reality!
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