Week 5: Behaviors That Negatively Affect Marriage
“The key to reviving or divorce-proofing a relationship is not simply how you handle your disagreements but how you engage with each other when you’re not fighting.”[1]
Have you even been sitting in a church class and your teacher
asks a question to which the answer is: read scriptures, pray, attend the
temple and have family home evening!
Of course!
We all have, right? Why? Because those are the foundational principles of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They are the starting points, the glue, that invites revelation into our personal lives, our relationships and our homes.
I love this quote from the book The Seven Principles for
Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman because it reminds me of that exact
point: it’s the daily things we do that make all the difference in our lives!
How we feel about and treat our spouse in the day to day
lays the foundation for how poisonous arguments can become. I remember years
ago reading an Ensign article about marriage. It talked about how we can
“reprogram” our thoughts just like someone programming a computer. If we were
programming a computer and we told it that it was bad at math, it was terrible
at spelling and that it couldn’t read, what would that computer be able to do
for us? Not much!!
So why do we think that we can foster negative or
indifferent thoughts about our spouses and then be able to act in a Christ-like
way during an argument? It seems pretty silly, but how many people actually
justify it.
It reminds me of this Studio C episode. Watch it and you
will understand:
Well bless her heart!
Treating our spouse with love daily is the key!
But wowzers! that can be hard when that person is having a
rough day and taking it out on you!
Another quote I LOVED was from Drawing Heaven into Your
Marriage by H. Wallace Goddard, Ph. D. He says:
“The surest test of our spiritual maturity is the way we
react to those who are imperfect physically, spiritually, or emotionally.”[2]
The enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is the
key! It can us find the strength to love even when we feel we have nothing left
to give. It can help us to become more
in our relationship than we ever thought we could be as we make the Gospel of
Jesus Christ our foundation during those times of frustration and weakness.
Jesus Christ is the great healer of the world. With his
stripes we are healed and with his example to follow, we can know the way to
create an eternal marriage!
[1] The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, John M. Gottman, PH. D., and Nan
Silver. p. 51
[2] Drawing Heaven into Your Marriage, H. Wallace Goddard, PhD. pp. 31
No comments:
Post a Comment